Tare up your life

This terrible knot is stuck in my throat. Ill swallow it just for a while, and just let it subside for the night. Let’s get to the point, i am not happy with today. Becasue tonight would have been another night remembered. I’m just tired but i can’t go to sleep because due to the time change, its not even 9. Homework tonight? not gunna happen. tonight or any night. so lets find somthing else to do. To be honest, nothing sounds better than going swimming right now. I want to drive under the top of the water to silence underneath. feel the cold water wake me up but relax me completly.ugh my tub is broken, not home made pool tonight… I want to say nothing and have you understand. You know what i want. I am tired of hitting these mental walls. Im just waiting for tomorrow and then the weekend, always looking ahead. I thought today was ‘gunna be bomb’. fuck that. done. i want ice cream.    

Night has always pushed up day
You must know life to see decay
But I won’t rot, I won’t rot
Not this mind and not this heart,
I won’t rot.


And there will come a time, you’ll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

And now I cling to what I knew
I saw exactly what was true
But oh no more.
That’s why I hold,
That’s why I hold with all I have.
That’s why I hold.

I will die alone and be left there.
Well I guess I’ll just go home,
Oh God knows where.
Because death is just so full and mine so small.
Well I’m scared of what’s behind and what’s before.

And there will come a time, you’ll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

so, wanna tell me what just came over me?

Because im starting to scare myself